Hi all!

I am finally sharing my ranking of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise! If you love gore, a chainsaw-wielding maniac, a deranged family and a sticky, hot Southern backdrop, these are the movies for you. Overall, this is a very hit-and-miss series for me. The timelines are messy and the names of both Leatherface, and his clan, keep changing. By the end of my bulk-viewing, I compiled a list of the perfect ingredients (in my opinion) for a fantastic TCM movie. 1.) Leatherface has to be the main villain. If he’s not the big bad, I’m not interested. 2.) The film has to be serious and horrific in tone. I’m not as big a fan of the campy stuff and 3.) There has to be a somewhat cohesive and interesting storyline. Without further ado, let’s get into it! 

Spoilers Ahead! 

1.) The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

In first place, we have the original film from 1974. Five friends head out to rural Texas, to visit the grave of a grandfather. On the way, they stumble across what appears to be a deserted house, only to discover something sinister within. Something armed with a chainsaw. The director, Tobe Hooper, intended for the movie to be more of a horror comedy. However, for its time, seeing a villain wearing other people’s faces and wielding a chainsaw, proved to have the opposite effect. Audiences were terrified – and rightfully so! The cast were traumatised after filming, especially Marilyn Burns (Sally), as the torture scenes felt a little too real, plus she was injured on set. There are many iconic moments in this movie, replicated across the franchise: a.) the girl wearing the red shorts, walking toward the farmhouse, b.) the chainsaw-wielding dance at the end, c.) the dead armadillo on the side of the road and d.) the camera flash sound-effect, signature to this series. Initially, the film was banned in several countries, despite the violence only being inferred. It was and will remain a classic in horror history.

2.) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

In second place, we have the 2003 remake. If you told me this was your favourite film in the franchise, I wouldn’t blame you. It’s iconic! A group of young travelers, including Erin (Jessica Biel), come across an isolated rural home, whilst driving through Texas. Unfortunately for them, the decrepit structure is home to a family of deranged backwoods killers, most notably, a hulking masked brute known as Leatherface. This movie fulfilled my checklist (see above) perfectly. Leatherface is the main villain, he is scary as hell and the story makes perfect sense. It’s also the goriest feature in the franchise. Unlike the original, the violence is not inferred. It’s bloody and in your face. Not to mention, we got a kickass, gorgeous final girl, giving us grit and determination in spades. I am a huge fan of early 2000 horrors and this one was no exception.

3.) Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013)

In third place, we have Texas Chainsaw 3D from 2013. It’s supposed to be a sequel to the 1974 feature. Decades ago, residents of Newt, Texas, long suspected the Sawyer family were responsible for the disappearances of many. When their suspicions were finally confirmed, vigilantes torched the compound, killing every member of the notorious clan…or so they thought. Years later, a young woman named Heather (Alexandra Daddario), learns she has inherited Texas property from an unknown relative. What she’s unaware of, is what awaits her in the mansion’s dank cellar. This instalment had everything I wanted in a TCM movie. Gore, scary Leatherface, homages to the original film, an interesting and fleshed-out (pardon the pun) storyline and a good twist. I liked that the lines were blurry around who was truly evil. I wasn’t expecting to enjoy this film as much as I did.

4.) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 from 1986 has become a cult classic. Initially however, it had me confused and perplexed. Leatherface is up to his cannibalistic ways once again, along with the rest of his twisted clan. This time, the masked killer has set his sights on pretty disc-jockey, Vanita “Stretch” Brock (Caroline Williams). Alongside Texas lawman, Lefty Enright (Dennis Hopper), they battle the psychopath and his family, deep within their lair – a macabre abandoned amusement park. Director, Tobe Hooper, originally wanted the 1974 film to be a campy, dark comedy. When it horrified audiences, having the opposite effect, he decided to overcompensate with the next movie. This instalment is completely different to its predecessor. It’s goofy, ridiculous and over-the-top. Leatherface is not the main villain. In fact, he actually tries to help his victim escape, thanks to Vanita’s charms. There was a very uncomfortable scene where he attempts to pleasure her with his chainsaw. The whole thing was strange and out of place from what came before. Having said all that, it has grown on me since and I can appreciate why it is so beloved amongst the fandom. 

5.) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, is a prequel to the 2003 remake. It follows Chrissie and her friends, as they set out on a road trip for a last hurrah, before one of them is shipped off to Vietnam. Along the way, bikers harass the foursome, causing an accident. The lawman, who arrives on the scene, brings the group to the Hewitt homestead (note: not Sawyer in this one), where young Leatherface is learning the tools of terror. Despite the so-so acting, I didn’t mind this instalment. It had a lot of gory moments and shocking scenes. It sits in the middle for me, as the last decent film in the franchise. Sorry! 

6.) Texas Chainsaw Massacre – The Next Generation (1995)

In sixth place, we have Texas Chainsaw Massacre – The Next Generation. After leaving their prom early, innocent Jenny and three other teenagers, crash their car in the backwoods of Texas. In search of help, they run into Vilmer Slaughter, a vicious psychopath with a mechanical leg. They also encounter his twisted family, including serial killer, Leatherface. As the group of friends struggle to survive the maniacal methods of torture, Jenny discovers the secret origins behind the family’s lust for blood. What the hell was this movie? Our notorious masked killer was suddenly a crossdresser. This could be related to the Ed Gein influences but it was still difficult to take seriously! The main villain, played by Matthew McConaughey, was wildly unhinged. Renée Zellweger could not act for peanuts and there was a weird, cultish leader, who was also into S&M. I was laughing the entire way through and not in a positive way. I wish this was the worst film in the franchise, but we are just getting started!

7.) Leatherface (2017)

In seventh place, we have Leatherface. This was intended to be the ultimate villain origin story. A violent teen and three others, kidnap a young nurse while escaping from a Texas mental institution. Pursued by a vengeful sheriff, the disturbed young man embarks on a murderous rampage, shaping him into a legendary killer, known as Leatherface. My main issue was it didn’t feel like any other movie in the franchise. If not for the title, I would not have known this was from the TCM universe. I liked the twist and that was about it. I really don’t have much more to say. 

8.) Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

Texas Chainsaw Massacre from 2022 is a hot mess. It follows a group of young influencers, wanting to revitalise a deserted Texas town. It isn’t long before they face up against infamous serial murderer, Leatherface, thirsty for carnage. Where do I even begin? Leatherface may have been the main villain, but he acted like he belonged in another franchise. Halloween maybe? It felt a little too Michael Myers’ish. Not to mention, the writers decided to bring Sally back from the original film (despite her being a different actress), only to kill her off toward the end. The teenagers themselves were insufferable and annoying. I didn’t care what happened to them. I wish this instalment hadn’t been made. 

9.) Leatherface – The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990)

In last place, we have Leatherface – The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III. I strongly dislike this film. I honestly thought the 2022 instalment would be last, until I watched this one. Driving through Texas, young yuppie couple, Michelle and Ryan, stop at the Last Chance Gas Station. However, after witnessing the owner attack a hitchhiker named Tex (Viggo Mortensen), they panic and flee. In their hasty departure, they get lost. They soon find themselves being pursued by the chainsaw-toting maniac known as Leatherface. While running, the couple bump into survivalist, Benny, who they team up with in an effort to escape. Maybe I missed something, but nothing happens in this film. The big bad is barely in it and the characters themselves are irritating beyond belief. Not to mention, the majority of the scenes take place at night, when it’s too dark to see. Also, didn’t Leatherface die in the previous film? Now he’s suddenly alive in this one? Not buying it!

Thank you so much for reading! How would you rank the franchise?

Peace & Love xoxo