Hi all! 

Yes, I am posting this on the 13th! Today I am breaking down/ranking Taylor Swift’s newest album: The Life of A Showgirl. If you wish to check out my other Swiftie related posts, please click here. This record has received so much hate and online criticism since its release and I simply do not understand it. As someone who has been a fan since Debut, I can confirm this has happened every single album cycle. Critics did not like The Tortured Poets Department, Midnights, Reputation, 1989 and even Folklore at first. They have always had different things to say, but the underlying message remains the same: ‘this album is a flop.’ Then some time passes, a new era comes into play and suddenly, Taylor is the greatest artist of all time again. They reflect longingly on her previous works, wishing she had continued down the same path. I’m here to tell you, I fathomed on first listen and it’s a hit. This is her fun, pop era. She’s happy, in love and less concerned than ever about how she’s perceived. The 12 tracks themselves are infectious, created by dream team: Taylor, Max Martin and Johan Shellback. The Life of a Showgirl promised incredible visuals and unbelievably good melodies – and it delivered. Without further ado, let’s get into it! 

1.) Elizabeth Taylor 

In first place, we have Elizabeth Taylor. I was hooked on very first listen and the love has only deepened. This song is so catchy, I have a physical reaction every time it comes on. That drop in the bass? The hook? The melodies, plus her lower register? Insane! In this track, Taylor is not only comparing herself to the late and great icon, she is hoping her new relationship will work out. Who better to ask than Elizabeth Taylor? She was known for her many husbands; marrying the love of her life, Richard Burton, twice. It has a dreamy quality to the sound, but it also reminds me of My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys from The Tortured Poet’s Department and the Reputation era. Furthermore, there are many references to Elizabeth Taylor’s life, such as her favourite spot to frequent at Musso and Frank Grill, Portofino (where her and Richard Burton got engaged) and her perfume, White Diamonds. Taylor really sees herself in the Hollywood starlet. They faced so much adversity from the media and yet, continued to thrive in spite of it. 

Favourite lyric: “I’d cry my eyes violet, Elizabeth Taylor.”

2.) The Fate of Ophelia 

In second place, we have opening track: The Fate of Ophelia. This is not only one of Taylor’s best lead singles, it has an incredible music video too. I’m so lucky I got to see it on the big screen, at her release party. In this song, Taylor is comparing herself to the fictional character, Ophelia, from Shakespeare’s Hamlet. However, instead of drowning due to the actions of frightful men, her fiancé, Travis Kelce, saved her with his love. Taylor has mentioned in interviews she likes to reverse the fate of her favourite Shakespearean heroes, such as Romeo and Juliet in Love Story. This number blends a mixture of old and new language, including phrases from the source material. It bridges the gap between The Tortured Poet’s Department and The Life of a Showgirl perfectly. She is no longer ‘Down Bad‘ crying at the gym. She’s alive, full of joy. I know it’s going to get overplayed, but for now, I can’t stop listening to it. 

Favourite lyric: “You wrap around me like a chain, a crown, a vine. Pulling me into the fire.”

3.) Wood 

In third place, we have Wood. Innuendo be damned, this is one of the catchiest songs on the record. I can’t help but feel happy when I hear this song. Pre-release, everyone was speculating what it would be about. Superstitions? Naughty metaphors? Why not both? Taylor interpolates a Jackson 5 track on this song, crooning about how she used to wish on falling stars, but with Travis in her life, she doesn’t need to anymore. Together, they make their own luck. The knocking on wood sound effect sends me to another planet every single time. Do we need to address the HUGE elephant in the room? I mean, that’s half the fun. Taylor is being silly and flirty, implying her man’s package broke her streak of bad luck. All I can say to that is: ‘good for you girl!’ 

Favourite lyric: “It’s you and me forever dancing in the dark. All over me, it’s understood, I ain’t got to knock on wood.”

4.) Opalite 

In fourth place, we have Opalite. This is the track I claimed pre-release and it did not disappoint! It’s such a joyful number, reflecting on the lightning strikes one has to dance through in life, in order to find their person. The song asks you to forgive your past decisions, because they were all leading to a brighter future. Taylor liked the metaphor of man-made happiness, much like how the gem, Opalite, is not naturally formed. Opal is also Travis’s birthstone. It is an instant mood booster, lifting the listener up to the highest heavens. I like to think of it as Bejeweled’s older sister. There’s a lot of wisdom, but also sparkly pop beats. It’s a definitely a favourite amongst the fans. 

Favourite lyric: “And all of the foes and all of the friends. Have messed up before, they’ll mess up again. Life is a song, it ends when it ends.”

5.) Honey 

In fifth place, we have Honey. Pre-release, I put this song dead last in my ranking. I just had a feeling it wouldn’t be for me. How wrong I was! This simple, sweet track makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. In the past, words like ‘honey’ and ‘sweetheart’ had been used disparagingly toward Taylor. She hadn’t had the best experiences with those particular terms of endearment. However, when Travis says it, he really means it. She feels the love and intent in his words. It’s so nice knowing how adored and safe she feels with her life partner. It’s the smallest things that make a big difference. 

Favourite lyric: “You could be my forever-night stand, honey.”

6.) Father Figure

Father Figure has been such a grower for me. I think it will continue to climb the ranks, the more I listen to it. This track interpolates George Michael’s song of the same name. Taylor describes it as a conversation between a mentor and protege, to which she has been both. If I had to speculate who it’s about, I would say her former manager, Scott Borchetta. In the beginning, he saw her as pure profit. She could rise, but never reign. By the end, the empire belongs to her – now she’s one with the bigger ****! The whole song builds to the final, powerful chorus. It’s the part I’m most excited to reach. I love her take on power plays and mafioso references. 

Favourite lyric: “Your thoughtless ambition sparked the ignition. On foolish decisions, which led to misguided visions.”

7.) Ruin The Friendship

Like Father Figure, this song has climbed ever higher on my list. It has the most beautiful melody, making one think of a summertime road trip. In my opinion, it has the best storytelling on the album. Be warned, there is a sad twist you won’t see coming. Taylor transports us back to highschool, regretting a chance she never took with one of her friends. She keeps repeating the line “should’ve kissed you anyway.” In the third verse, everything becomes clear. She is referring to Jeff, the subject of her song, Forever Winter, who took his own life. It’s an important life-lesson about the risks we should take in love, because at the end of the day, it’s better to try, than wonder your whole life. At first I couldn’t understand why Taylor was writing about this. If this was supposed to be a ‘look behind the curtain’ during the Era’s Tour, why was she reflecting on her adolescence? However, in the context of Travis, it makes sense. It’s why she took the chance with him. What she learnt from Jeff, gave her the courage to try again. It’s absolutely beautiful. 

Favourite lyric: “My advice is always ruin the friendship. Better that than regret it for all time.”

8.) Wi$h Li$t 

This is another potential climber! Wi$h Li$t is Taylor’s favourite song on the album. The message she’s delivering is quite simple, but also very revealing. In the verses, she outlines all the different things people need to make them happy. In the chorus, she shares just what she wants. All her heart desires is Travis and their future family. In her fantasy, the world would leave them alone. Taylor doesn’t normally share her thoughts on having children. However, her fiancé has expressed wanting kids before. With him, it’s possible to have it all. I love the dreamy melodies and breathy vocals. It reminds me of Glitch, but better. My favourite part is the bridge. Taylor said it was the last song she wrote for The Life of a Showgirl. Once it was done, she knew the record was complete. I don’t have to wonder if she will get what she wants. She’s already getting it.

Favourite lyric: “I thought I had it right, once, twice, but I did not. You caught me off my guard. I hope I get what I want. Cause I know what I want.”

9.) The Life of a Showgirl (feat. Sabrina Carpenter) 

In ninth place, we have the closing track, featuring Sabrina Carpenter. This is the most ‘showgirl’ of all the songs on the album. Like Ruin The Friendship, it also has great storytelling. Taylor discusses meeting a fictional idol, Kitty, after a show. She tells her she’s living her dream but Kitty warns showbiz is not all its cracked up to be. It’s ruthless and demanding. In Sabrina’s verse, she sings about how she did everything to have a taste of that ‘magnificent life.’ By the bridge, the tables have turned. Now Taylor and Sabrina are the seasoned showgirls and they wouldn’t have it any other way. They are passing down their pearls of wisdom to aspiring starlets. It’s such a powerful song. Sabrina was the perfect feature for a track like this. What really makes me emotional, is the outro. Taylor used actual audio from her final Era’s Tour show in Vancouver, thanking her team. I couldn’t think of a better way to end the album. I hope they perform it live together someday.

Favourite lyric: “I’m married to the hustle. And now I know the life of a showgirl, babe. And I’ll never know another.“

10.) Eldest Daughter

In third last place, we have Eldest Daughter, the infamous ‘Track 5’ of the album. This is where Taylor places her most vulnerable song. The melodies are absolutely beautiful in this one. I love a piano moment. It’s about the ‘cautious discretion’ an eldest child learns over the years. They protect themselves from being hurt, by pretending they don’t want things they really do. Taylor actually is the eldest daughter in her family. She’s also told us in songs like Lavender Haze, that she wasn’t interested in marriage, which she confesses here, was a lie. The stunning bridge reveals she was dishonest about those things, purely because she thought she would never obtain them. My issue with the track lies in some of the writing. I actually prefer the clean version. I really don’t like the “so we all dressed up as wolves and we looked fire” line. I just think there were other, more effective words she could’ve used’ Also ‘bad b*#ch’, ‘savage’, ‘punk’, ‘trolling’ and ‘memes’ takes me out a little bit. It’s still good, but compared to some of her other ‘Track 5’s’, it’s on the lower end.

Favourite lyric: “We lie back. A beautiful, beautiful time-lapse. Ferris wheels, kisses, and lilacs.“

11.) CANCELLED! 

In second last place, we have CANCELLED! I was really excited for this song pre-release, because it was one of Travis’s favourites. I expected a banger and I got one. However, it hasn’t fully grabbed me yet. It’s very Reputation coded but not in the same way as Elizabeth Taylor (see above). Taylor has covered this topic extensively before, but this time, she’s focusing on friends that have suffered similar scrutiny. She understands them, because she’s been them. In essence, she relates more to those associated with controversy. Now she’s the mentor for when things get bad. Taylor eludes to remaining close with Blake Lively, because she stood by her when the tables were turned. Some have said the track is ‘tone deaf’, others that it’s a ‘MAGA‘ anthem. Some have even called it ‘The Life of a Capitalist.’ I don’t buy into any of that. It’s clearly about the celebrity mentioned above. The beats themselves are infectious. I find myself humming it randomly. It’s definitely an earworm, just not a track I’m connecting to right now.

Favourite lyric: “Did you make a joke only a man could? Were you just too smug for your own good?”

12.) Actually Romantic 

In last place, we have Actually Romantic. At this point in time, it’s my only skip. It has absolutely nothing to do with the subject matter. I couldn’t care less about a particular ‘brat.’ I’m proud of Taylor for clapping back in a much classier way, after everything that was said behind her back. I love sassy, petty Taylor. For me, it’s the way it sounds. I’m not vibing with it sonically. My favourite part is the bridge, but we have to get through two verses and two choruses to get there. It’s definitely not a bad song. I will probably grow to love it. For now, I just don’t have any desire to listen to it. What I will say is, I like the concept. When someone can’t keep your name out of their mouth, it’s pretty romantic. You could apply that message to anyone who spews hate your way. Take it as a compliment. They can’t stop talking about you. I hope it helps those being bullied, shift their perspective.

Favourite lyric: “You think I’m tacky, baby. Stop talking dirty to me.”

Thank you so much for reading! How would you rank this album? 

Peace & Love xoxo