Hi all!

Today I am ranking all the episodes from American Horror Stories – Season 2. Click here for my Season 1 ranking. Just to be clear, AHS and American Horror Stories are not the same thing. They are set in the same universe (created by the same director: Ryan Murphy) but stand on their own as separate television shows. One is a continuing story, the other is made up of individual stories. Without further ado, let’s get into it.

Spoilers Ahead!

1.) Dollhouse 

In first place, we have Dollhouse. I think the season started off really strong with this premiere episode. It was elaborate, colourful and creepy. Furthermore, the ending hearkened back to Coven (Season 3 of American Horror Story). It follows crazed dollmaker, Van Wirt (Denis O’Hare), who kidnaps a woman, bringing her into his personal doll collection. Van makes all of his dolls compete in a deadly “pageant”, to decide who will be the best replacement ‘mother’, to care for his son. As predicted, whomever fails, dies. This concept could have been adapted into a feature length film, or even its own AHS installment. I was very impressed by it.

2.) Aura

In second place, we have Aura. After moving into a new home, Jaslyn (Gabourey Sidibe), purchases an Aura – a smart doorbell device. It isn’t long before the app, linked to the product, shows a decrepit old man outside her front porch, asking to come in. However, when she opens the door, he is nowhere to be seen. Her husband believes it to be a prank, but Jaslyn is certain the paranormal is at work. Not only was this episode really unsettling, it held my attention the entire time. Moreover, the twist at the end had me shook. I didn’t see it coming. At this point, I was certain American Horror Stories had improved significantly from the first season. Unfortunately – as you will see below – it took a pretty big dive after Bloody Mary.

3.) Bloody Mary 

In third place, we have Bloody Mary. I was happy to get an episode that felt like an early 2000’s teen horror. It follows sisters, Elise and Bianca, who decide to summon Bloody Mary with their friends, in order to get their deepest desires granted. However, all dark magic comes at a cost. The evil spirit instructs them to commit awful deeds in her name, before their wishes can come true. This one was so much fun. I thought the acting was great and the ending, really cool. I was genuinely satisfied from start to finish. Plus, it had some much-needed POC representation.

4.) Necro 

This is where things start to go downhill. In fourth place, we have Necro. As you can guess by the title, the story contains disturbing elements. It follows Sam, a mortician in California. She absolutely loves her job, but feels like nobody (including her partner), understands her. One day, she meets a body removal technician named Charlie. They form a kinship over their shared beliefs about the dead. I don’t really want to detail what happens next, but let’s just say, Sam embraces her connection to a corpse in a very disgusting way. This was one of those ‘can’t look away, but should’ scenarios. It was so wrong. It would not have worked if the main character wasn’t a pretty female. It really pushed unnecessary boundaries.

5.) Facelift

Facelift started off strong, but the end was a flaming dumpster fire. It follows a middle-aged woman named Virginia Mallow, who will do anything to turn back the clock, reclaiming her youth/beauty. One day, she is referred to a doctor, who carries out an anti-ageing procedure. Whilst in recovery, Virginia suffers excruciating pain; tormented by visions of demons. Her doctor invites her to a private lodge, where she is promised a grand reveal of her new face, but instead learns she has been transformed into a sacrificial pig for a cult tradition. Honestly, this episode had a lot of potential. It could have been a good lesson in embracing who you are, but instead turned into a weird story about Satanic worshippers. I did not buy the ending at all.

6.) Drive

Drive was superficial, boring and a waste of screen time. It follows a self-absorbed woman named Marci, who spends her spare time going to clubs, indulging in the perks of an open marriage. One evening, she is pursued by an unknown man in a Jeep. Her husband warns her about news reports of local people disappearing from nightclubs, but she continues to party with her best girlfriend. Where do I begin? The twist at the end was so stupid. It was revealed she was the serial killer all along. If that wasn’t bad enough, her husband chooses to assist in the murders, in order to bring them closer together. It was unbelievable and lame.

7.) Lake 

If you thought Drive was bad, just wait until you hear about Lake! This was the final episode. I was hoping against hope the season would end with a bang. Sadly, it did not. I was so excited Alicia Silverstone was cast in this episode, but by the closing credits, I was severely disappointed. It follows a family grieving their son, who was pulled into a lake by a mysterious entity and drowned. Four months later, the family are tormented by visions of his bloated corpse. They decide to investigate the body of water where he died, discovering a horrifying truth. My biggest gripe with this episode was the acting. It was TERRIBLE. It felt like they were all reading off a script. The lines were so cringy. The story itself was also underwhelming. I didn’t care about the dam development, nor the Prescott family.

8.) Milkmaids

In last place we have Milkmaids, which I hated. In 18th century New England, a village has been devastated by smallpox. Thomas Browne (Cody Fern), tells pastor Walter of rumours that the disease can be cured by eating the hearts of recently deceased victims. Walter does so, encouraging his congregation to follow suit. The local people shun the prostitute Celeste, who had tried to warn them the pastor was corrupt. She takes refuge with milkmaid, Delilah, and the two begin a relationship. Delilah realises she and Celeste have previously contracted cowpox, which has given them immunity to smallpox. As the villagers eat hearts straight from the corpses of the dead, Delilah begs them to stop, offering them milk from an infected cow, to protect against the disease. First of all, the concept was gross and not in a good, horrific way. It had a very lame twist, as well as a ridiculous ending. Secondly, it was boring. It moved at a really slow pace. Lastly, I didn’t understand why this was a good idea for an episode. Drinking infected cows milk to make the villagers sick, just to protect them from another disease? It made no sense. Wouldn’t they all just die from cowpox? Why American Horror Stories? Why?

Thank you so much for reading. How would rank the episodes?

Peace & Love xoxo