Hi all!

Today I am ranking all of Osgood Perkins’ films. His particular directing style is moody, atmospheric and slow-paced. The movies listed below display a strong affinity for psychological horror, building dread and a penchant for tragedy. Perkins for me is a bit of a hit-or-miss director. At this stage of his career, I believe he needs more time between features. His productivity is impressive but it can affect the overall quality of his work. Having said all that, I am seated for whatever he releases next. Without further ado, let’s get into it! 

Spoilers Ahead!

1.) Longlegs

In first place, we have the critically acclaimed, Longlegs. The movie that made me terrified of Nicholas Cage. It may just be his best performance yet. 

‘FBI Agent Lee Harker is assigned an unsolved serial killer case, which takes an unexpected turn. She discovers a personal connection to the killer; desperate to stop him before he strikes again.’

In my personal opinion, this is Osgood’s strongest film. I get the sense it’s his favourite too. It keeps your attention at every turn, never wavering from the burgeoning terror. I love the mystery aspect to this story as well and how the horrifying reveal takes the viewer to an unexpected place. One could never predict the direction it goes in. The main themes are repressed childhood memories, trauma and the nature of evil. Apparently, the demon pops up more than 15 times throughout the movie. For this reason (amongst many others), it deserves multiple rewatches. This is a layered piece of work that will keep unfurling itself over time. 

2.) The Monkey

In second place, we have The Monkey. This is the most unserious feature in Perkins filmography. 

‘When twin brothers find a mysterious wind-up monkey, a series of outrageous deaths tear their family apart. 25 years later, the monkey begins a new killing spree; forcing the estranged siblings to confront the cursed toy.’

The Monkey graced us with a coming-of-age horror – spending significant time in the past, before moving on to the present day. The gore, violence and creative deaths were shocking. This is Osgood’s first splatter film. It’s safe to say, he nailed it. He maintains his signature moody vibe, whilst injecting fun, bloody carnage into the story. Having said all that, the tone was quite off. Despite it being a horror comedy, not a single joke landed in my cinema. It suffered from an oversaturation of sarcastic, dry humour. Sometimes, less is more. 

3.) Gretel & Hansel 

In third place, we have Gretel & Hansel. If you want an atmospheric horror, look no further!  

‘When their mother descends into madness, siblings, Gretel and Hansel, must fend for themselves in the dark and unforgiving woods. Hungry and scared, they fortuitously stumble upon a bounty of food left outside an isolated home. Invited inside by the seemingly friendly owner, the children soon suspect her generous but mysterious behaviour as part of a sinister plan to do them harm.’

Visually, this film is stunning. Every single shot is beyond aesthetically pleasing. It was the perfect Grimm Fairytale for Perkins to adapt. However, as one can surmise by the title, it has a feminist twist. The emphasis is more on Gretel, than Hansel. She is both the older sister and her brother’s primary protector. I really enjoyed this movie but it got quite wacky and weird. The kids hallucinate on mushrooms they find in the forest, Hansel possesses supernatural abilities and the creepy witch in the cottage is a practicing Satanist. I would’ve preferred a more straightforward, horror reimagining. I guess that wouldn’t be true to an Osgood feature then. 

4.) The Blackcoat’s Daughter

In fourth place, we have The Blackcoat’s Daughter. This is a controversial placement – I know. 

‘During the winter, two students are stranded in a prestigious Catholic boarding school. They soon realise that in order to survive, they will have to fight a sinister unseen evil force.’

Before I saw this film, it was overhyped to me by multiple influencers. In particular, the twist ending. I went in expecting a masterpiece but was significantly let-down. The reveal was so confusing, I had to look it up afterward to understand. Doing so took away the impact. I want to commend the performances from Emma Roberts, Kiernan Shipka and Lucy Boynton. They all played their parts wonderfully but the story itself did not resonate with me. I struggled to comprehend it. I do fear The Blackcoat’s Daughter is overrated. 

5.) Keeper

In second last place, we have Keeper. I wanted this to be a favourite of 2025 but alas, it was the opposite. 

‘Terrifying visions plague a free-spirited artist when she travels to a secluded cabin with her lover.’

The only redeeming factor of Keeper was Tatiana Maslany’s acting. She carried her role beautifully. I would love to add how incredible the cinematography and setting were, however, Osgood Perkins used repetitive shots over and over. I saw the same running stream a hundred times; the same side view of the cabin etc. I don’t know how Perkins managed to make a 100 minute film feel three hours long. For the majority of the runtime, not a single thing happened. Furthermore, the explanations were not satisfying, nor the slog to reach them. I didn’t feel like the payoff was worth the journey. I was extremely disappointed by this one. 

6.) I Am The Pretty Thing That Lives In The House

I didn’t think it could get worse then Keeper, until I watched I Am The Pretty Thing That Lives In The Hosue.

‘Hired to care for a reclusive elderly author, a live-in nurse comes to believe her house is haunted.’

I don’t have anything nice to say about this film. It is the most boring, unwatchable, rage-inducing thing I’ve ever seen. Not a single thing happens. If a media student made it for their class, it would be top-tier. As a feature on Netfilx, it’s deplorable. I truly hope Osgood never makes anything like it again. Sadly, Keeper is more akin to this movie, than something like Longlegs or The Monkey. Let’s hope this isn’t the direction Perkins continues to go down. 

Thank you so much for reading! How would rank Osgood’s films?

Peace & Love xoxo